Diana launches Category A air machine gun capable of “full auto” fire, in new .9mm calibre!

Revolutionary design ensures it is legal on a Cat A licence

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Diana air rifle machine gun composite
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Air rifle maker Diana has announced a revolutionary 0.9mm air gun that combines the firepower of a machine gun with ammo characteristics of a shotgun, and it’s a Category A firearm in Australia.

The new Diana Model 96 MPG (or Mouse Plague Gun) uses a cartridge not unlike a shotgun shell to hold 100 0.85gr 0.9mm projectiles that are fired in a single, continuous line down the rifled barrel using gas pressure from a canister. 

The action works in a semi-automatic fashion, which is quite legal under Category A air gun laws, but Diana points out that by repeatedly squeezing the trigger the shooter can release thousands of projectiles in successive hundred-round bursts, spraying an area with deadly effect.

Diana says the incredible new weapon was developed specifically to help Australian farmers deal with the mouse plague, and tests have shown it can mow down swarms of rodents in a shed without damaging fodder or implements. 

The inspiration for the MPG was a direct result of COVID-19 lockdowns here in Australia.

“During lockdown, an accountant from our Australian distributor was using her Diana .177 air rifle in her back yard to shoot cane toads,” a spokesman for Diana said. 

“It was the only hunting she could do. She sent a photo — she looked very funny in camo under the Hills hoist.

“When a mouse appeared, she shot it and that made her think of the farmers suffering in the mouse plague.

“That’s when she came up with a new calibre of air gun, which we call the .9 COVID, suitable for tiny rodents, but she knew a break-action air rifle would be as effective in a mouse plague as Scott Morrison in a windstorm of COVID germs.”

The employee realised that under Australian law, semi-auto air-powered firearms are Category A. She took her idea to Diana’s engineers who further developed it until they could legally mimic the effect of fully automatic fire.

The Australian Government has fast-tracked approval of the new Diana so that farmers will at last have an effective weapon to use against the millions of mice infesting their properties. 

“Usually we rely on carefully placed anti-gun bureaucrats to ensure nothing new gets through, but in this case we’ve used a combination of forced leave and temporary promotions to get them out of the way, so approval was granted this morning,” said a spokesperson for the Attorney-General’s Department.    

The Nationals have called for the weapon to immediately be outlawed.

“We can’t allow weapons of mass destruction to proliferate in our streets,” a party spokesman said.

He said they were looking for ways to bring back Tim Fisher to lead their campaign. 

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5 COMMENTS

  1. And the Nationals pretend they are for farmers and people living in regional Australia.
    One thing is certain. A vote for Labour, The Coalition or the Greens is a vote for the anti-gun sentiment.

  2. Dammit! Someone beat me to the comment about it being April 1…
    You lot were doing so very well until you got to the bit about forced leave and temporary promotions, then it all became clear.

  3. “Usually we rely on carefully placed anti-gun bureaucrats to ensure nothing new gets through, but in this case we’ve used a combination of forced leave and temporary promotions to get them out of the way, so approval was granted this morning,” said a spokesperson for the Attorney-General’s Department. ”

    The powers that be can do it if they want too.

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